Dec 19, 2016
Only about 3 percent of people who pay alimony are women, but
those women are usually really, really angry about it. Typically,
the women are angry about his low- or no-earning during the
marriage, disgusted with his spending habits, and aghast she must
now support him after the marriage is over. In this episode,
I offer my top advice for dealing with the reality of paying your
ex each month. Tips include:
- Prioritize coming to peace with the situation.
- Stop talking about it.
- Minimize interaction, and find ways to pay him in a lump sum,
automatically, or a few times annually.
- Accept that this is the price you had to pay to get out of a
- Ask your ex to fund the kids’ college savings plans.
- If you truly cannot afford your current lifestyle while making
these payments, downgrade your lifestyle.
- Remember that alimony and child support were huge, wonderful
- Focus on how your kids benefit from this payment — and how you
benefit by default.
- Peel away the layers of the resentment, which are rooted in
what happened during the relationship.
- To be part of the solution for other families, find the
advocates for alimony reform in your state, and get involved.
- If you truly believe you are paying too much, weigh carefully
the costs of revisiting the issue legally, and do your best to
approach this as a practical process, and not an emotional
- Never tie time with your children to payments. In some states,
child support payments are calculated based on how much time the
kids spend with one or the other payment.
- Hard as it, do not threatened to stop paying your ex.
- Refocus your rage into fuel for earning more. In most states,
child support and alimony payments are capped.
- Remember: Everything is temporary.
What do you think? Do you pay alimony to your ex?? How do you
feel about it? What did you do to contend with it? Share your
advice to other women in the comments....