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Like a Mother


Celebrities, bestsellers, turd-stirrers, advocates, everyday people with amazing stories, and call-in guests to discuss what smart moms really care about:

Career, money, business, parenting, feminism, dating, sex, success, love and relationships.

“Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts”
—U.S. News

Aug 5, 2016

 

A few years ago I wrote this post: Why single parents should put kids second when dating. It is by far one of the most trafficked posts on WealthySingleMommy, and one of the most polarizing. And the more I read and write on the topic of single moms and dating, the stronger my stance: In a serious relationship, your romantic partner comes first. 

I meet most men that I date online. It's very common for guys with kids to write in their OKCupid profiles: "My kids come first," or "My daughter is the center of my world!"

I get where you're coming from. You want a potential mate to know that your life includes the giant presence of a kid or four. You also want women to know you're a devoted dad (it's no secret chicks get hot for guys who are great with kids!). Got it. Roger!

But I bristle at those lines. When it comes to relationships, I'm fond of saying, You never really knows what goes on between people. But there are a few couples in my life who I look to as models of the kind of marriage I'd like one day. People who really enjoy each other. Respect and support one another. And in these families, the parents put their relationship before the kids. They are the dynamic centriforce around which the family's life orbits. And everyone thrives as a result.